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Climbing around Ilkley

12-13^th July 2003.

Birchen Edge… 24^th August 2003

The journey up to Yorkshire included passing by a swat team of police clad in flack jackets, wearing baseball caps and toting machine guns, hiding behind emergency telephones and vehicles at the side of the M6; other than that it was an uneventful drive up. We pitched our tents then went in search of the local hostelry to rejuvenate our parched throats (it would be a hot weekend.)

Saturday morning at the Cow and Calf, a tourist spot that is also a climbing zone had us up at the ‘Rocky Valley’ end of the moor. The best climb in the area is The Flake Climb (15m S ***) a good starting point, unfortunately appreciating the best that the crag has to offer. Most of the climbs in the area are well under graded in comparison to more local venues and a lot of them are green being north facing and rarely climbed, possibly because of a mixture of both the grade and the greenness.

Three Slabs Route (11m MS **) came next with minimal kit on the lead (one piece of safety gear at about the halfway mark). Then three of us managed to complete a crag test piece, Bogey Wall, a climb that has an unusual overall grade of HH, meaning extreme, and rarely seen outside of this area, the low technical grade of 5a being laughable considering the difficulty of the climb.

The Strid (10m HS 4b) was our last triumph at this venue, a ridiculously hard thrutch up a vertical crack that was to be the cause of numerous grunts and expletives for those who attempted it. We adjourned to the Cow & Calf public house for the autopsy and post climb drink, watched the air ambulance arrive for some unfortunate and decided that tomorrow we would try Almscliff.

You’d never have thought that it was going to be hotter today than yesterday, but it was! Much too hot for scrambling about on some little bit of rock, but we encouraged ourselves to do a bit.

Fluted Columns (14m VD***) provided the first route, and very tidy too, allowing some thought to be required in its ascent. Square Chimney and Whiskey Crack (15m MVS 4b ***) proved a lot harder and had people baling out to recover on Low Man Easy Way (13m D **). A lot of sun bathing filled the increasingly big gaps before that time of day when all good people retire to the nearest watering hole prior to the long trudge back home.

 Someone once quoted to me ‘Another day upon the anvil of the sun.’ and it summed up Sunday excellently; six climbers from the club being battered by a relentless hammer the whole day.

 We chose to go to Birchen Edge because it is the nearest place of any decency, being a bank holiday weekend it seemed prudent to get somewhere early before the picnickers and Sunday afternoon strollers filled the usually tight car parks. And of course… It’s very handy for the Robin Hood house of libation.

 Heading for the more popular part of Birchen, we split into two groups of three and completed Sail Buttress (14m VS 4b **), a nice climb that traverses leftwards, wildly, onto a flying buttress before the easier section above is attainable. Afterwards Left Ladder Chimney (12m Dif), thrutchy for its mediocre grade and requiring more brawn than brain to ascend.

Topsail (13m VS 4c ***) produced the second classic rock line of the day, pulling through an overhanging roof much to the delight of those who watch or succeed. This was followed by Sail Chimney (14m S 4a ***), a route that flows behind the sail like rockface and remains unseen by the casual observer.

As two of the routes in the infamous climbers manual, Classic Rock, had been completed (Sail Buttress and Topsail), we had to move out to finish the last route, Powder Monkey Parade (17m S 4b ***). It’s a route that has a seemingly impossible start for anyone of my height; I certainly struggled on those first few moves unlike my two companions who disproved my theory and excuse about height incapacitation.

Moving back to the rest of the group we completed Emma’s Temptation (13m VD 4c *) then my son, Michael, proved his mettle by doing his second ever lead on The Prow (12m VS 5a). I followed his lead and found it to be extremely bold climbing over a small overhang at the top of the climb.

For a bit of entertainment, three of us did Telescope Tunnel and Captains Crawl. These two routes are perhaps more akin to caving than climbing, crawling on your back through tight tunnels in the rock to surprise other belayers by crawling out through their legs where they hadn’t realised there was a hole next to the climb they were on.

These climbs, laced with the sunbathing spells found there finale in The Robin Hood house of libation for a well deserved tonic or two and then the journey home.